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MABN Hop Tips

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MABN Hop Tips, DECEMBER 2017

Hi-de-ho-ho-ho Neighbors! We are right smack in the middle of the holiday season and events are as barren as the Mid-Atlantic winter landscape. The first half of the month has plenty of goodies while the second half screams family time.

From the Staff here at MABN Hop Tips (me), Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Festivus for the rest of us, and finally, Happy Repeal Day (December 5) which celebrates the passage of the 21st Amendment which effectively repealed the 18th (Prohibition). Cheers, Johnny Vac

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December 5, 4th Annual Holiday Hang at El Dorado, Rehoboth Beach, DE -
Rudolph, the well hung reindeer, had a great enormous "BLEEP".... Oops. Guess it's not that type of hang. 302-645-1596

December 7, Troegs Mad Elf Ugly Sweater Party at Stanley's Tavern, Wilmington, DE -
I remember getting a sweater for Christmas one year. I was really hoping for a screamer or a moaner. 302-475-1887

December 21, Pints For Half-Pints at Two Stones Pub, Newark, DE -
Some of the kids don't believe in Santa. They're Rebels Without A Claus. Eeew yourself. 302-294-1890

District of Columbia

December 12, Dupont Christmas Caroling: Theology On Tap at Buffalo Billiards, Washington, DC -
A song told me to deck the halls so I did. Mr and Mrs Hall are still pissed at me.

December 13, Holiday Brewmaster Tour at Heurich House, Washington, DC -
Santa always lands on the roof of the house because he likes it on top. You can use the front door here. 202-429-1894

December 14, Noche Buena Fiesta: Mexican Beer Dinner at Tico DC, Washington, DC -
Tamales are on the menu so you'll have something to unwrap.

December 20, Belgian Holiday Draft & Clothing Drive at the Sovereign, Washington, DC -
When you stop believing in Santa Claus, you start getting clothes for Christmas. Share the wealth you non-believers. 202-774-5875

December 20, Festivus Party And Glass Giveaway at Mad Fox Taproom, Washington, DC -
Stop it. It's nothing. It's a stupid holiday that George's father invented. It doesn't exist.


December 5, 2017 Max's Customer Appreciation Party at Max's Taphouse, Baltimore, MD -
Santa's favorite singer -"Elf-vis Presley"- might be in the house for your listening pleasure. 410-675-6297

December 6, 2017 Winter Game, Beer and Spirits Dinner at Brewer's Alley, Frederick, MD -
All the other reindeer used to call him names. Used to. Enjoy your dinner. Wink, wink. 301-631-0089

December 6, Pallet Paint Night at Antietam Brewery, Hagerstown, MD -
One Christmas Eve, the reindeer's wives decided to paint the town red and went out and blew a couple of bucks. Get your mind out of the gutter. They went shopping.

December 7, Babies And Brews: Toy Benefit For Puerto Rico at Monument City Brewing, Baltimore, MD -
I would love to show you the toys that the elves make for adults but this event is G-rated. 443-529-8131

December 8, Heavy Seas 22nd Birthday Party at Heavy Seas Tap Room, Halethorpe, MD -
I think that President Trump will be there to sing "O Comb Over Ye Faithful".

December 10, Deck The Paws at Independent Brewing, Bel Air, MD -
Deck the halls with catnip mousies. Fa la la la la la la la! Wreck the tree and blame the doggies. 410-836-8313

December 13, Hannukah Brew Ha Ha at UNION Craft Brewing, Baltimore, MD -
"Roses are reddish, violets are bluish, if it wasn't for Christmas, we'd all be Jewish"- Benny Hill 410-467-0290

December 22, Ugly Christmas Sweater Party at 1812 Brewery, Cumberland, MD -
On Tacky! On Ruffled! On Loud and Gaudy! Come Sequined! Come Glittered! Come Fringed and Shoddy! 301-338-2490

New Jersey

December 1-18, Cape May Brewing Annual Food Drive at Cape May Brewing, Cape May, NJ -
Santa's sack is huge because he only comes once a year. Bring non-perishables and help fill it. 609-849-9933

December 2, 3rd Annual Lighting Of The Leg at Village Idiot Brewing, Mt Holly, NJ -
Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window and that was the vice squad. 609-975-9270

December 3, Hoppy Holiday Bazaar at Flying Fish Brewing, Somerdale, NJ -
On the first day of Christmas, your true love gave to you...Nothing because you're single. But, if you have a Significant Other, come out and pick up a gift. 856-504-3442

December 8-9, Our 2nd Anniversary Party at Taphouse 15, Jefferson, NJ -
Santa is so damn jolly because of the fantastic tap list at this event and just the fact that he knows where all the naughty girls live for the afterparty. 862-437-1300

December 9, Merry Firkin Christmas Tree Lighting at Cloverleaf Tavern, Caldwell, NJ -
Hey there, Mr Shintoist, Merry Firkin Christmas! God is gonna kick your ass, you infidelic pagan scum. In case you haven't noticed, there's festive things to do. So let's all rejoice for Jesus. Merry Firkin Christmas to you! - Mr Garrison (I changed it a little) 973-226-9812

December 17, Winter Wonderland Artisan Market at River Horse Brewing, Ewing Township, NJ -
To all the people who piss me off, I hope you get Crocs for Christmas. Everyone else might be lucky and get something from here. 609-883-0890

December 21, Winter Beer Night! at Barcade, Jersey City, NJ -
During the Holiday Season, beers are compulsory, relatives are optional and the points don't count. 201-332-4555

December 21, Thursday Coed Bar Pong at Public House 46, Clifton, NJ -
If you jingle my balls, I can guarantee you a white Christmas. 973-473-8184

December 22, Santa at Lunacy Brewing Company, Haddon Heights, NJ -
I remember lying in bed as a kid waiting for Santa to come. Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left. 856-617-0681


December 2, Melvin Brewing Launch at BRU Craft & Wurst, Philadelphia, PA -
When someone asks you "Where is your Christmas spirit?", is it wrong to point to the tap list? 215-800-1079

December 2, Best Of Our Backyard Tours at Various Breweries, Scranton, PA -
Bus trip for beers to four local breweries. Check out the lights but don't get lit.

November 8, Movie Night: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation at Neshaminy Creek Brewing, Croydon, PA -
I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery. 215-458-7081

December 12, Sancho's Christmas Beer Dinner at Sancho Pistola's, Philadelphia, PA -
Rumor has it that they'll have deep fried Santas on the menu, otherwise known as Krisp Kringles. 267-324-3530

December 15, Stickman Turns 2 - The Sophomore Slump Party at Stickman Brews, Royersford, PA -
Let's do some arithmetic children. 1 Ho plus 1 Ho equals a very happy Santa. 484-938-5900

December 16, 1 Year Anniversary & Salted Caramel Chocolate Stout Release at Brewery ARS, South Philly, PA -
No Parking? No Problem. Park right in the middle of Broad Street which is every South Philadelphian's birthright. Yo Adrian!

December 23, Ugly Sweater Party in the Tap Room At Weyerbacher Brewing, Easton, PA -
For Christmas, I gave my kid a BB gun. He gave me a sweater with a bullseye on the back. - Rodney Dangerfield 610-559-5561

December 28, Barrel-Aged Beer Dinner at General Sutter Inn, Lititz, PA -
This holiday season, in lieu of gifts, I've decided to give everyone my opinions. And I think that this is a good event to attend. 717-626-2115


December 2, Brrrewery Bike Tour on W&OD Trail, Arlington, VA -
Dress warmly because you don't want an icicle forming if you know what I mean.

December 5, Annual Holiday Beer Dinner at Dogfish Head Alehouse, Fairfax, VA -
It's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas but pretend it's Cyber Monday and you'll think you got a bargain.

December 9, Rye Whiskey Barrel Aged Stout Release Party at Stable Craft Brewing, Waynesboro, VA -
I usually don't include bottle releases anymore but SCB went out of their way and submitted the event, and it is the holidays, so "Ho Ho Ho Mo Fo". 540-490-2609

December 9, Hops For Hope at Ocelot Brewing, Sterling, VA -
The Nightmare Before Christmas is usually your kids finding their presents before the 25th. Proceeds from the event go to National Center For Missing & Exploited Children to help the kids who are having real nightmares. 703-665-2146

December 9, Sankt Nikolaus Brunch at Black Hoof Brewing, Leesburg, VA -
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a new job the next day. Since this is a brunch, you should be good. 571-707-8014

December 11, History Happy Hour: Confederate Christians' Pro-Slavery Manifesto at Triple Crossing Beer, Richmond, VA -
If James Brown was still alive, he would head straight to the ghetto for some back-up and then serve some crackers with a history lesson. 804-495-1955

December 17, 6th Annual Beer & Carols at Brewbakers Restaurant, Winchester, VA -
All I want for Christmas is youuuuuuuu… get hit by a reindeer. 540-535-0111

December 23, Tacky Sweater Party at Tradition Brewing, Newport News, VA -
If it's tacky, it's gonna be included by Vaccy in my self anointed dumpster fire of a newsletter. 757-592-9393

West Virginia

December 6, Suds And Swine Pairing at the Taps At Heritage, Huntington, WV -
I have the perfect storm of swine and West Virginia but it's the Holiday Season. FML!

December 16, Winter Brewfest at Snowshoe Mountain Ski Resort, Snowshoe, WV -
"Christmas is not a time for heavy drinking, over eating, and casual sex with farm animals."- Ian Anderson

On a sad note, this will probably be the last MABN Hop Tips of 2017. Some might say that it's a good thing but to each their own. My wife and I will be on vacation and we don't bring laptops to interfere with beers on the beach. We have a house sitter and an alarm system. Don't even think about it. I'll be back January 2018, tan, rested and ready to bring a smile to your face and good beer to your belly. JV