MABN Hop Tips

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MABN Hop Tips, APRIL 2018

Hi Everybody. Hopefully, the April showers will hold off so that you can get to some of the outdoor festivals that generally start up this month. If you can't get to an event, support your local brewery/brewpub. Cheers, Johnny Vac

Help me help you. Please post your events here:


April 8, 2nd Annual Blue Earl 5K Shuffle at Blue Earl Brewing, Smyrna, DE -
Alcoholics don't run in my family. They stumble over crap and break shit. 302-653-2337

April 11, Give Back Day at Iron Hill Brewing, Wilmington, DE -
I'm having a charity event for people who can't have orgasms. Let me know if you can't come. 302-472-2739

April 15, 1st Annual Delaware Firkin Fest at Revolution Craft Brewing, Rehoboth Beach, DE -
I don't know if I should start the revolution or watch TV. Debate settled. Three Stooges are on. 302-212-5674

April 21, Record Store Day Celebration at Dogfish Head Tasting Room, Milton, DE -
The two things that really drew me to vinyl were the expense and the inconvenience.

April 21, 9th Annual Dewey Beach Brewfest at Gary's Dewey Beach Grill, Dewey Beach, DE -
Just going to have a few samples with the guys…..and it's morning. 302-227-8519

April 21, Locals Only: A Delaware Beer & Band Fest at 1984, Wilmington, DE -
Time to be a little stinker. Tell your Jehovah Witness friends that The Doors are playing. 302-384-64479

District of Columbia

April 2, Drag Bingo at Right Proper Shaw Brewpub, Washington, DC -
Did you ever want to be so famous that the drag queens will dress like you when your dead? 202-607-2337

April 2, Melvin 2x4 Day 2018: Melvin IPAs, Kung Fu & Wu-Tang Clan at ChurchKey, Washington, DC -
Wu-Tang Clan? I didn't know that the Chinese had racist hate groups. 202-567-2576

April 7, Bardo Brewing Outdoor Beer Garden Silent Disco next to Nats Stadium, Washington, DC -
I went to a disco last night. They played the Twist. I did the Twist. They played Jump. I Jumped. They played Come On Eileen. They kicked me out for that one. 762-233-7070

April 7, Second Anniversary Celebration at The Sovereign, Washington, DC -
I'll drink to this anniversary but honestly, I'll drink to about anything. 202-774-5875

April 7-8, Cherry Blossom Wine & Beer at Akridge Lot @ Buzzard Point, Washington, DC -
I was walking through the room and there were a few cherry blossoms walking through. My heart stopped. Sorry, that was the anime that I was watching.

April 21, 2018 DC Beer Fest at Nationals Park, Washington, DC -
Enjoy the irony of drinking craft beer in the Budweiser Brewhouse, Bud Light Loft and Budweiser Terrace.

April 22-25, National Beer Wholesalers Association Legislative Conference at Hyatt Regency, Washington, DC -
Not sure how many of you are eligible to attend but if you can, here's the link.


April 5, Sours, Farmhouse & Wild With Right Proper at Brewer's Cask, Baltimore, MD -
That was a right proper beer. Let's hope we don't get brewer's droop from drinking too many of them. 410-273-9377

April 6-7, Beer, Bourbon & BBQ Festival at The Cow Palace, Timonium, MD -
My Ex left me for an Indian guy. She'll be treated well. I heard that they worship cows.

April 7, National Beer Day at Heavy Seas Taproom, Halethorpe, MD -
It's National Beer Day. It would be unpatriotic not to drink. Just make sure it's not a Russian Imperial Stout!. #MakeAmericaDrinkAgain

April 7, The UNION Craft Brewing Old Pro Open at Old Pro Golf, Ocean City , MD -
And that hot blonde standing on the corner of 69th & Ocean is affectionately known as "The 19th Hole". 410-467-0290

April 14-15, A Very Special Bottle/Keg Event at Max's Taphouse, Baltimore, MD -
Well...isn't this special? Churchlady approved so get there early in your Sunday go to meeting best. 410-675-6297

April 15, Round Hill Volunteer Fire Department Fundraiser at Dirt Farm Brewing, Bluemont, VA -
Look up Dirt Farmer on Urban Dictionary. I dare you. Then Google blue waffles. You'll thank me later. 540-554-2337

April 20-22, Mini UK Event at Max's Taphouse, Baltimore, MD -
I am an anti-Christ, I am an anarchist, Don't know what I want but I know how to get it. I want to destroy the passerby 'Cause I want to be anarchy. No dogs body. Anarchy for the U.K... will be on continuous loop for the event. 410-675-6297

April 21, 9th Anniversary Party at Evolution Craft Brewing, Salisbury, MD -
There is no theory of evolution. Just species that Chuck Norris let live. 443-260-2337

April 21, 2018 Bluegrass, Brew and BBQ Festival at Red Shedman Farm Brewery, Mt. Airy, MD -
BBQ and foot stomping bluegrass washed down with 30+ craft breweries. Yeeeehaaa…

New Jersey

April 8, Asbury Biergarten Tutu 2.2 at Asbury Festhalle & Biergarten, Asbury Park, NJ -
My mom gave me this advice when I was little. Two things you should never do. Run with scissors and run in a tutu. I have all my fingers and dignity. 732-997-8767

April 14, Glasstown 4x4 Jamboree & Cruise at Glasstown Brewing, Glasstown, NJ -
Redneck word of the day: rectum. I had two nice four-wheelers before I rectum. 856-327-7770

April 17, Carton Brewery Takeover at Cloverleaf Tavern, Caldwell, NJ -
Welcome to New Jersey where the state flower is the concrete cloverleaf. 973-226-9812

April 21, 3rd Annual Brewing Awareness For Autism at Beach Haus Brewery, Belmar, NJ -
I used to fake autism to get out of caring about people and their problems, but here's an event that could use our support. 732-202-7782

April 21, Earth Day Beer Fest at Hell's Kitchen Lounge, Newark, NJ -
Let's do our part for Earth Day by continuing to impact the world via Twitter, Facebook and email. 973-465-4422

April 21, Rhythm And Brews 2018 on Station Avenue, Haddon Heights, NJ -
If you need a project that consists of going somewhere and drinking beer, well, I might just have something for you right here.

April 21, Jersey City Craft Brew Fest at Harborside Atrium, Jersey City, NJ -
Don't worry. By the time you get the beer shits from all the beer you drank, you'll be home and away from the Porta-Potties.

April 21, Pints For Pets at River Horse Brewing, Ewing, NJ -
When I was growing up, I used to spend hours taking things apart. That's when my parents stopped getting me pets. 609-883-0890

April 21-22, International Food Truck & Craft Beer Festival at Six Flags Great Adventure, Jackson, NJ -
After a few beers, Kingda Ka will be renamed Brew And Spew. 732-928-2000

April 25, Ladies Of Craft Beer Event at Hub City Brewhouse, New Brunswick, NJ -
I used to date a one-legged lady who worked at a brewery. She was in charge of hops. 732-543-1804

April 28, Westfield Hops-A Craft Beer Experience at the Armory, Westfield, NJ -
I paid a hooker for a Girl Friend Experience. 25 minutes later, she told me she was on her period.


April 5-8, 1 Year Anniversary Celebration at Locust Lane Craft Brewery, Malvern, PA -
I'd rather shower at Penn State than miss this event. Congrats to Tom, Jason and Bryan. 484-324-4141

April 7, WBCo 1 Year Anniversary at Wissahickon Brewing, Philadelphia, PA -
Of course, they open the brewery after I move out of the neighborhood. Then again, I left in 1987. Congrats to Tim, Luke and everyone else. 215-483-8833

April 7, Four Year Anniversary Party at Conshohocken Brewing, Conshohocken, PA -
Wow, another Philadelphia area anniversary celebration on 4/07. Just spank my ass and call me Sally. 610-897-8962

April 7, Rails & Ales at Railroad Museum of Pennsylvania, Strasburg, PA -
As a locomotive engineer in the non-beer world, I plead the fifth in regards to any pre-drug and alcohol testing version of Rails & Ales.

April 9, Spring Fling Chef & Brewer Beer Pairing Dinner at Two Stones Pub, Kennett Square, PA -
Man, it's finally Spring. I'm so happy that I wet my plants. 610-444-3940

April 14, The Taming Of The Brew at Caldwell Consistory, Bloomsburg, PA -
"To beer or not to beer"... Enjoy beer and food as Hamlet ponders "What the f*** is a consistory?" 570-784-1400

April 14, One Year Anniversary Bash at Rock God Brewing, Danville, PA -
When I was younger, I was going to be a Rock God. But the allure of writing this dumpster fire of a newsletter proved too strong. 570-284-4096

April 14, Berks Brewery & Breweriana at Berks History Center, Reading, PA -
Your life without this event would be un-beer-able…

April 20, 4:20 On 4/20 at Levante Brewing, West Chester, PA -
Someone pass Shaggy the baggy so he can roll Scooby a doobie. 484-999-8761

April 20-22, Stuttgart's Fruhlingsfest at Spring Gate Vineyard, Harrisburg, PA -
Oktoberfest? No, that's in the fall. This is Aprilfest. Beer and girls in dirndls that aren't going to drown anytime soon. 717-857-5544

April 21, PA Flavor at Pennsylvania Farm Show Complex, Harrisburg, PA -
PA Flavor showcases Pennsylvania breweries, restaurants, and food producers. Double dip it with Harrisburg Beer Week.

April 27-28, Brewski Festival at Seven Springs Mountain Resort, Seven Springs, PA -
I'm sorry but all I see with the name of this festival is a bunch of college kids in a toga asking for a brewski. I'm probably wrong but you never know unless you go.

April 28, Little Big Beer Festival at National Civil War Museum, Harrisburg, PA -
Civil War jokes? I General Lee don't find them funny.

April 28, 2018 Manayunk Brew Fest at Manayunk Brewery, Philadelphia, PA -
Manayunk is a Lenape Indian word meaning "where we go to drink". Looks like you're covered here. 215-482-8220


April 2, Dyngus Day RVA Fundraiser For Shriners Hospital at Castleburg Brewery, Richmond, VA -
It's not a Dyngus Day party until the kielbasa comes out and the pussy gets wet! 804-353-1256

April 4, Strong Beer Tasting at Mad Fox Brewing, Falls Church, VA -
Otherwise known as Uber Day 2018.

April 7-8, Spring Crafted 2018 at O'Connor Brewing, Norfolk, VA -
Hopefully, Spring has stood up to Winter and kicked it in its snowballs. 757-623-2337

April 14, Fredericksburg Brew Fest Spring 2018 at FXBG Fairgrounds, Fredericksburg, VA -
Finished with your winter blues? Time to start on your spring allergies. 540-408-3789

April 14, 24th Anniversary at Legend Brewing, Richmond, VA -
Fred was my hero. Daphne, Velma and Fred always checked out the upstairs bedroom while Shaggy and Scooby searched the basement. 804-232-3446

April 14, 2nd Anniversary at Lake Anne Brew House, Reston, VA -
Channel the Great Cornholio and pretend that it's at the Lake Titicaca Brew House.

April 17-22, Second Anniversary Celebration at The Veil Brewing, Richmond, VA -
They will be doing releases every day. #linelife #FMLthislineislong

April 18, Great Lakes Brewery Dinner at Tuscarora Mills, Leesburg, VA -
Making jokes about Great Lakes is just plain Erie-sponsible.

April 21, 3rd Annual Revolutionary Beer Fest at Khedive Shrine, Chesapeake, VA -
I afraid that when the revolution finally comes, the comedians and jokesters will be the first ones against the wall. 757-482-4480

West Virginia

April 14, Small Batch Tap Takeover at Morgantown Brewing Company, Morgantown, WV -
What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia? In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia, it's a misdemeanor. 303-292-6959

April 21, West Virginia Bites & Brews at WV National Guard Center, Morgantown, WV -
I wanted to go to the hospital to see my sister give birth to our first child but the Mountaineers game was on.


April 30-May 3, Craft Brewers Conference, Nashville, TN -
You don't have to hide the rare beers and women since I am not attending this year.