We Paparazzi Three & The Celis White Launch

By Ian Bowering

Try on something white...is what the invitation to launch of Celis White (contract-brewed by Brick Brewing) at Toronto's Park Plaza Hotel, said. And tie it on we did.

Arriving unfashionably early, with the closest approximation I own to a business suit, I signed in and immediately hid behind the business section of the Toronto Globe and Mail, to stalk the arriving paparazzi. Within minutes, Robert Hughey put my sartorial splendor to shame with his stylish blue suit. Fortunately, I was saved, when our editor, Bill, arrived moments later sporting a T-shirt and overnight growth.

Now time to start, we strutted up to the bar, and were each rewarded with a glass of Celis White. Quickly downing our first to brace ourselves for the snacks served by white-gloved attendants, we realized that we were going to have to master the art of balancing our beer, sun dried tomatoes on phylo pastry, and dips, while taking notes. As none of us had had three hands, something had to give, and we were damned if it was going to be the beer or the food. Having staked out our interests clearly, we watched in horror as other paparazzi with cameras, and notepads in hand, surrendered their mugs to take notes!

Winning the approbation of the young women from the PR firm who had staged this event, we continued drinking. Soon, one of these young ladies asked us if we were taking notes. In unison, we raised our glasses. Not to be stifled, she then asked if we wanted to interview Jim Brickman. In unison, we raised our glasses. Not easily put off but not understanding our sign language, she persisted and asked us if we wanted to speak to Celis brewer Peter Camps. Again we...

Eyeing the buffet of sushi, salmon, beef and numerous delicacies I edged away, while Bill went to talk to Stephen Beaumont. Feeling threatened until Bill returned to tell Robert and I not to worry that Stephen had assured him he couldn't afford him and thus replace us as writers, Bill went on to say that Stephen had noted how well the fish accentuated the taste of orange in the beer. Wow! Thanks, Stephen! All I found was that beer was a sure antidote for putting out the fire in my mouth after drowning my sushi in Japanese hot sauce.

True gloom about my credentials hit me when I read the PR package and discovered that my assessment of the beer's fire fighting abilities matched those of the media package. Nearing a full-fledged identity crisis, only ameliorated by more beer, it finally dawned on us that we were not paparazzi at all, as none of us had a camera.

Having survived this trauma, Brick rep Bill May then tried to get us to leave by adopting the old Canadian Centennial cheer Chimo. Still too dull to realize the event was now over, we continued to assess the beer before us. Finally, given a gift package of Belgian white chocolate and noting that the bar had closed, we edged our way to the door. There we were each offered a six pack. Deftly noting that there were some half dozen six packs left over, Bill the editor showed true Yankee pluck and demanded a two-four.

I wandered off to discuss the origins of Chimo with Bill the rep, over another Celis at the pay bar. But not wanting to appear greedy, I downed my beer and joined Robert and Bill on the elevator. Now thrust on the streets of Toronto and worried that we had not written our articles, we took the only responsible action we could agree upon, and repaired to Denison's.

Copyright 1997, Great Lakes Brewing News. No material herein may be reprinted without permission of the Great Lakes Brewing News Distributed On the W3 For personal, non-commercial enjoyment and use only. Cheers!